I don't know. Move to Sony, I guess? Again, I don't disagree that others don't have more video features on a stills-based body. I also agree with the 30 min recording limit being disappointing. What you have failed to address is the very nature of "hybrid" that I previously raised, because you didn't counter what I said with any real shooting scenarios, just brochure bullet points. I will state again - a shooter who routinely needs to shoot long format video would be better served by owning/renting a proper video camera, because "hybrid" as Canon defines it (and the marketplace agrees, judging by sales), are scenarios where you are *mixing* stills and video; it is not suggestive of a cine-worthy level of video capabilities packed into a stills body with no limits.
I would love to shoot 2+ hr videos directly on my R5, but that's simply because I don't wish to own or rent a video body for the scenarios in which I want to do that (a few times per year at most). And when I do that, I know I'm not shooting stills, or I have to carry a 2nd body to do so (generally I'm prioritizing video over stills and taking a few snaps with my high-end phone), therefore it's not a "hybrid" situation. A hybrid scenario would be if I was taking candids at a wedding reception and recorded the cake cutting to video (R5 has no issues accommodating this situation, even with 8K or 4K120); if I was the staffed videographer recording the whole wedding, I would not be doing so on my stills body! This is basically the same argument about the EOS R not having 2 card slots...not an issue for most people, definitely not an issue for the intended audience. I shot that body with no issues for 3 years, though I appreciate having 2 card slots on my R5 now.
It's not "ludicrous" though, because if it was, you wouldn't be on a Canon forum having this argument, you'd just be shooting Sony, which you indicate has what you want. There's a difference between what's ideal and what's possible, vs. what Canon might be interested in bringing to the market. They have never not had the 30 min cap so you're not encumbered by something that did not previously exist, and if it's that important to you (and others), then dollars will do the talking, Sony will start to overtake Canon, and they'll have to change course. I don't see that happening though, because MOST stills and hybrid shooters are not blocked by the 30 minute limit, and those that are probably have a cine body or a Ninja anyway, and are choosing to work around Canon's limitations because they prefer the other features the platform has, rather than shoot Sony solely because they don't impose a video limit on their stills bodies.